Wrong deeds cannot be covered by good words… Somewhere down the line we all have started relying too heavily on words and no doubt they fail us many a times & why shouldn’t they; a positive act is always more important than a positive word. Things like, “I have apologized; what more do you want me to do” or “How many times do we need to go through this, do you enjoy making me feel small” are quite often said by people who have let loved one’s down. This is when you make things go from bad to worse.
If you have done something wrong, broken the hearts of your close one’s, shattered their trust there is still a way out… a very difficult way though. You don’t have to say sorry but you have to ACT SORRY. You have to REPENT & SACRIFICE (you see these are not passive or dead words but these are action words mentioned in books of ancient wisdom as well) and do this for a long… a real long time. If you are wondering how long then the only answer is as long as the loved one’s do not feel that you can go to ANY LENGTH to win them back. It is no doubt slow… real slow at times but surely a HEALING process for both.
Also you need to understand that you have made your loved one’s very insecure about everything by breaking their trust. So in your long journey of healing it’s not only the ‘long time’ that is painful; but also your loved one’s may act very irrationally most of the times and all you have to do is to say to yourself the truth & i.e. “I am responsible for this and only I can get them out of this painful situation”. It’s not that they are like this but it’s you who has made them get into this shell.
Personally I feel, if need be, do this till the end of your life, but yes I agree this is my personal view…
WHY SHOULD YOU DO THIS PAINFUL THING WHEN YOU CAN GET INTO ANOTHER RELATIONSHIP AND ENJOY
Being seen as a person of integrity is one of the most important desires of every human being. You have to feel that you are being perceived as a person of integrity for you to be happy in real sense.
You repenting and sacrificing is not a big cost to pay if you understand that it is not only a HEALING process for the other people but it is also a process of healing for you and you will grow as a HUMAN BEING only to get a better life in future. Run away and you will be getting caught in similar situations time and again.
Your loved one’s may not say this but trust me, somewhere within they are really happy to see that you are doing so much to prove to them that they are important to you. They will not appreciate for a long time not because they are not happy but just that they think that if they show that they are happy you will go back to old ways. Once bitten twice shy… we have heard of this before, haven’t we.
May sound a bit out-of-the-world but in today’s time when electronic media is filling our minds with all sorts of stories of cheating and lack of trust, glorifying almost everything that is wrong you can play a vital part in rebuilding the trust of the important people in your life. If you fail to do so, you have changed the lives (for bad) of many forever because they will start seeing the world with these dirty glasses that you have thrust upon them. Play your part in making a better world, a world with more trust, an emotionally healthy world around you.
Last but not the least, I believe in KARMA and the LAW OF KARMA says that what you do to others will certainly come back to you sometime in future, no one can say exactly when but it will. None of us would like to be cheated and would like our trust to be shattered, so if you have done something wrong only way out of this negative KARMA is to undo it by paying the price for it in our acts of REPENTANCE & SACRIFICE. Remember it puts back the responsibility on to you. Remember you are really not paying heavy price for others; you are only doing this to make sure you do not have to go through this anytime in future.
Wish You Luck…